My challenges in learning Chinese

My challenges in learning Chinese


I have tried to learn Chinese when I was in a high school. Actually, I had a bad feeling that is something to do with China because I have seen so many corruptions of China through news, teachers and people. I also had a Chinese friend, and we did not have the good relationship. He was so selfish that I was always asked to tune myself into him. I did not have any distinguishing at the young age, so I just tried to understand him and help him out; however, finally, I got exhausted and stop being friendly with him. As I think now, he was full of ethnocentrism. He was so proud of his background that he did not want to compromise but make others follow him.
Because of those experiences, my view toward China was terrible. However, I knew China is one of the major developed countries, and the power of the population and national resources have lots of possibilities of prosperity. I felt like I must learn Chinese as a tool whether I like it or no, so I decided to learn Chinese. This had a big impact on my learning. Even though I was learning Chinese, this language did not attract at all.
When studying English, I first started with instrumental motivation. However, the culture of countries where English is the first language, and many cool English speakers around me encouraged me to change my instrumental motivation to intrinsic motivation. On the other hand, my bad memories about China kept me from improving my motivation. Finally, I stopped studying Chinese because I lost my interest.